ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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