I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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