Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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