Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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