he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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