ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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