i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
