First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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