She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.