Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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