Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
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He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
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i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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