Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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