He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
