pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize