You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize