butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
