You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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