How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize