i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
