You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
