His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
