I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
