I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
