Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
