I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
