I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
