Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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