"it" just moved
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
