i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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