it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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