apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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