We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
