it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize