girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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