I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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