just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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