It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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