if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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