so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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