I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME