This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.