i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."