Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
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He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
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And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.