Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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