I wannas sexs uuuuu
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
