are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ