big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!