I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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