we have officially mastered the walk of shame
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
