So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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