Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
