He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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