do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
ttyl tear gas
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
