I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So I just went to clothing optional bar
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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