don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
